Oh My, what have they done to my boy?

The grandchildren have come for a visit and I am soooooooooooooo glad to see them. But what a shock to see my beautiful Ethan wearing a mohawk!!! He is still my sweet boy....but a very busy one :). He is impressing me with letter recognition and all the new things he has learned!




Here is Ashlie and the girls. They are crawling and clapping and waving bye-bye. We must keep a close watch or they find trouble pretty quick. They are so very different in personality. They are indeed a joy to have around.

Life's ups and downs

We all experience them, however we still struggle when they come. We somehow think that life should be a continously positive journey. Struggles reveal character; and character is who we really are. I think lately I have experienced stuggles in abundance and I am not sure I like the character traits that have been revealed. I would love to be able to say that I am of strong, unquestionable character but in reality, I find myself lacking.

I remember years ago a friend told me she was going on a sabatical to sort out her life and I thought...why would anyone want to stop living to just go and think about it? I have now come to a place and an age where making the right choices seem more important than making quick choices. Sometimes we think we are where we have to be or for that matter where we want to be, just to realize we have made a mistake.

I have made many mistakes in my life but I do learn from them. I have always like the saying, "If you keep doing the same things you've always done, don't expect different results". There are no perfect people, I know that. We all are imperfect people in an imperfect world trying to make a difference. I feel a real contentment with my life, I know who I am and what I want and that brings a contentment. I know the ups and downs of life will keep on coming but that's ok. That's life.

Friends

This is a picture of my dear friends, Bill and Anne taken at a nice little country cookin' restaurant just north of Atlanta this weekend. I met Anne about 11 years ago when she brought the cutest little toehead to my class for preschool. This child is now 6'1" and wears a size 13 shoe.

Sometimes in life we find friends that just click. You seem to just enjoy each others company and know that if ever a need arises they are only a phone call away. That is Anne for me and Bill too for that matter. Good people who I am blessed to know. Thank God for good friends.

Life, love and commitment Part II

When I first began my blog I wrote on this subject, then through a glitch I lost my post. I began writing again but really did not rewrite the many posts lost. I have decided to revisit this subject for several reasons but mostly because I have strong personal feelings about each area.

Life; the Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as the following:

The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body and the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual.

There of course are more, but for the purposes of this post I will stick with these. The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. I have known people that live as thought their life is over. They do nothing with the time they have. Never venture out to the land of the living or enjoy the beauty of the natural world. They live their lives through that little box in the family room, never daring to go out and attempt some of the things they see on it. For them life is truly a spectator sport. I see the sad, lonely and depressed and want to shout "get up, get out, and get moving!" That leads to the second definition, the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual. One must live life daily, it can not be watched but experienced! We all have the same amount of time each day and we can't get one second back after it has ticked away, so why not make a difference in the world you live in. Reach out and help someone, smile and speak to a perfect stranger. Tell those you love that you do love and appreciate them. Send flowers, write a love note, give a surprise gift. Each day is a series of snapshots of your life, one day when you are old and gray wouldn't it be nice to have albums of beautiful snapshots to see? The older I get the more I realize that age is truly just a number. People who love life and live each and everyday to its fullest regardless of hardships, aches and pains or the millions of other difficulties this world has, will always be young.

Love; I again reference the dictionary for the following:

Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests

I am of the belief the love is a choice and that we can and do choose whom we fall in love with. I think God intended people to be involved in relationships. He placed each of us into a family unit and that is where little newborns grow and develop most normally. Our lives are a series of relationships, some good, some bad, but most a gift to enhance our lives. We have parents, siblings, and other extended family. We grow up fall in love; have children, grandchildren and on and on it goes. We find enjoyment in common interests and strong affection arising out of kinship or personal ties. Ain't love grand?

This leads me to my final point and that is commitment. Commitment is defined as:

an act of committing to a charge or trust: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future; especially : an engagement to assume a obligation at a future date.

Commitment is one of those scary words. We all commit to things daily, a job, a way of life, God, however we find talking about commitment difficult. We have preconceived ideas on what it really means. I believe that in life it is the things we love and more so the things we commit to that make our lives more than mundane days. Love and commitment are what make life worth living.

A happy life

As I think of my youngest child getting married and beginning a family I think of all the things in life I would like her to know. First of all, I want her to know that a happy life depends on attitude. We choose to be happy and some days it is easy and other days we must work at it.

Always treat your spouse with kind of love and respect you would like to be treated with. Do the little things, a foot massage, a love note, a special meal and always take time to say I love you. Remember when you have a disagreement (and you will) don't go to bed angry. In life things change in the blink of an eye and you don't want your last words to be ones of anger.

Listen first, work hard to make yourself understood and if for some reason you don't succeed....try again. Winning an argument or getting the last word is NEVER important; maintaining a loving marriage is.

As parents you are a team. You are to support each other; never contradict the other one and especially in front of your children. Learn to have fun as a family; but take time to be a couple.

A happy life, has a strong foundation in faith. Read your bible together and pray together; pray for each other and remember your marriage is a covenant made before God and man. In this world we will have heartaches, but with God's blessing we have the strength of character to withstand even the most difficult of circumstances.

A bright future

This is a picture taken at Rachael's birthday party of both of my daughters and my future son in law, Chris. Grace and Chris are planning a late November, early December wedding and I am praying for a bright future for them both.




Here are Philip and I enjoying Rachael's birthday. I enjoy so much being with all my loved ones and this was a rare, but enjoyable day with them all! I think that we too have a bright future.

To my middle child; Happy 21st birthday Rachael!

Rachael is the one with the smile. She came into the world in a rush after only an hour of labor and me barely arriving at the hospital to give birth. She has grown into a thoughtful, intelligent young woman, whom never ceases to amaze me with her zest for life. My wish for her is to live a fulfilled and joyous life. Happy Birthday Rachael.

Life as a door mat

Lately life keeps coming faster than I can keep up with and I feel like I am hanging on for dear life. Today was one of those days where I wish I could step out of my life and find a completely new one. I love my job...but occassionally things come up that cause a great deal of stress and frustration.

I am tired. Tired of conflict and confrontation. Tired of talking folks, who know little of which they speak. I am tired of the frustration of wanting someone to think and feel as I do. But mostly I am tired of being me.

That might sound like a pity party and possibly so, but it is how I am feeling and I refuse to deny it. I am one of those people who believe you should always think of others first; but the sad fact is that when you do that...rarely do others do the same for you. I feel foolish and somewhat naive. That old cliche "nice guys finish last" seems so true. I wonder how one becomes a strong assertive person without being self centered and mean? I no longer wish to be a door mat, but I can't seem to get up and walk away.

Easter with the Grandbunnies!

Easter with Ethan, Caitlin and Silvia in new house in FWB, Florida!



Jason with the twins and Ethan.

Fear

How much of my life is ruled by fear? I care greatly what others think of me, I am a people pleaser. Which leads to a great deal of insecurity on my part. Sometimes I do nothing for fear of doing the wrong thing and appear apathetic to those who look to me for leadership. Sometimes I do to much because I want those around me to be comfortable and happy, even if it means I am not. I am obviously aware of my shortcomings but yet find no solution to this inadaquacy. I ask myself; "Are we to overcome our shortcomings or learn to survive in them?" I wish I knew.

I am still reading my book Captivating and finding so much to think through, I find glimpses of myself within its pages. I continue to find life's journey an exciting place and look forward to each new day.

Beauty and the pursuit

In the heart of every woman is a little girl who once wished to be the "Princess". That beauty that was in need of rescue. The one that Prince Charming would risk his life to pursue. We live in a society where beauty is revered and desired, and where we would do almost anything to get it. Yet I am left with the feeling of falling short, of not being quite good enough as a woman. I am currently reading the book Captivating, by John and Staci Eldredge. I was struck by the following statement.

"I am not enough, and, I am too much at the same time. Not pretty enough, not
thin enough, not kind enough, not gracious enough, not disciplined enough. But
too emotional, too needy, too sensitive, too strong, too opinionated, too messy.
The result is shame, the universal companion of woman. It haunts us, nipping at
our heels, feeding on our deepest fear that we will end up abandoned and alone."

The book goes on to say that this is a mentality that causes us to feel like failures and if we could only manage to get our act together our lives could be better. It also goes on to say that this myth is perpetuated by society and the church. This book, which I am still reading, is a journey into the mysteries of a woman's soul. It so far has helped me to embrace my femininity and relish that I have been created in the image of God. I have a uniqueness that can make a difference in the lives of those I love. This is just an installment in a series as I grow and learn from this wonderful book, tune back and see my growth. You may wish to take your own journey, if so pick up this book and join me.

Today is happy and sad, the children move on to their new home in west Florida. It is time but I will miss Ethan shouting "Goody"

Spring Break

Two days and counting! I have never been so ready for Spring Break. This year the work load seems overwhelming. I seem to have to carry over the to do list from one day to the next. I am sure I am not the only experiencing a bit of spring fever. My staff to is needing these 10 days of escape.

I think the greatest benefit in my profession is the fact that I get regular breaks. Now my job is not the kind where you sit all day and I like that but lately I have dealt with one interruption after another and the priority list grows longer and longer. Growing pains to be sure. I can say with all honesty I will climb in my car Thursday evening and head out and not look back for even a second. This is a earned and deserved vacation.....wonder where I will end up? No matter, anywhere but here will be a nice change.

New addition

Today, March 9, 2006, we welcomed a new addition. Christopher Tyler born to Chris and Heather (my neice) at 6:42 a.m. weighing in at 7lbs 12 ozs and was 22 inches long. He is a redhead and looks just like is daddy. Tyler shares a birthday with his 2nd cousin Grace who turned 19 today. Happy Birthday to you both.

Grace and Silvia

Friends

We all have them, friends. Some are life long, some are new. We all meet people that make our life fun, enhanced, just more enjoyable. Throughout my lifetime I have had many. Some I have had nearly as long as I have been alive....Some I barely met, but they have impacted who I am for the rest of my life.

We live in a transitory world, one in which people come and go at a pace too fast to keep track of. I am finding I am a rare bird, one who has spent her life in one place. I never intended it that way, my parents chose where I would be born and grow up, but none the less it is so. Now that is not to say I have not lived anywhere else, a brief move in my mid twenties to Maryland, but by and large I am a northeast Florida girl.

I have good friends whom have come and stayed briefly, living here 5, even 10 years and moving on to other parts of this great nation of ours. Some have gone away just to return again, sweet reunions, but things have changed considerably. Some have moved so far away that the only way we keep in touch is through email and phone calls. Still others, were not but a name and face on the computer they too are dear.

Why do we need to connect with other and spend time living life together, laughing, crying and impacting the quality of life for each other. Some people strive for money, fame, the next rung on the ladder up. I strive for for the next friend, the next person to whom I can make a difference in their life and they in mine. Life is wonderful that way. Everyone reaching out and and touching those around them.

My heart has been heavy lately for fear of losing my closest friend to yet another move. I have promises that all will be well, but still the fear is there. It hangs like a heavy cloak on my heart. I wonder if again I will be left behind to wonder how things are, if it is well with them. Ok, I know roads can be traveled and planes fly daily out of this very large city, but I do not want to be left behind yet again. I guess the song that says "Friends are Friends forever" is true but I don't want another long distance friend.

Time

Have you ever noticed that time is one of the few things in life we all have in common. We are on equal ground so to speak. Each having twenty four hours to live life in any way we see fit. Some fill up as many hours in the day possible. Some do as little as they can. You get no more, or no less than anyone else.

My grandson loves for me to sing him a song that goes:

Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky, Lucky son of a gun, I work eight hours. I sleep eight hours. I save eight hours for fun!

In reality rarely is this true. I sleep around 5 or 6 hours each night and work around a 10 hour day, every day. That still leaves my eight hours of fun, right? Not exactly. I must drive in traffic...1.5 hours. I must cook and clean up each day...1.5 hours. I have to pick up around the house and pay bills and all the other things you do when you own a home....2 hours. So three hours of fun!!!! Wonder what I will do....? :)

Prince Philip ~ A tale of the frog Prince

On a pier in Fernindina Beach, Florida. I saw him, my Prince Charming. He was tall, dark and handsome with a disarming smile and eyes that sparkle with a hint of mischievousness. I did not know he was Prince Charming, I did not know him at all.

What makes a mere man a Prince? Love, plain and simple. If you love someone, you overlook the little things. You see that strength that makes them seem invincible. There is a wisdom beyond knowledge, they just seem to know the right thing to do. They have the ability to remain calm in the midst of a storm and more importantly calm those around them. A quick wit that warms the soul and brings joy and happiness in large doses. All regal qualities, that define a Prince.

I have spent many months living and learning about my frog prince....He is a keeper and I might add a wonderful kisser as well. I find he has the ability to make me very happy and in addition more aggravated than anyone I know.

**Kisses my dear Prince Philip**

48 YEARS OF WEDDED BLISS

February 25, 1958 my Parents, Connie and Jerry married. This photo of them was taken when they were dating, I assume in 1957, but it could very well be 1956. The story goes they were both working in the same building in downtown San Antonio, Texas. Mom in a Savings and Loan and Dad was a delivery boy for a Title company located in the same building. The were introduced by mutual friends and fell head over hills for each other and were married shortly thereafter.

My father was in the Air Force and was stationed at various places around Texas which is where my brother was born in 1959. My sister was born while Dad was in Korea in 1960, this would be a great place to put in the pictures my Dad took while stationed there, but they have all since been damaged by moisture. When Dad came back they were transferred to Ft. Walton Beach, Florida where I, the baby of the family was born.

What a blessing to basically marry at the brink of adulthood and stay married your entire adult life. They are still in love and it never ceases to amaze me how much love you see between the two of them on a regular basis. They are truly each others best friend. They have a respect for each other that is seldom seen in today's society. Growing up with them as parents, you knew they were united and they would never contradict each other. It brought a great deal of stability into my life as a child.

I look at my parents as an inspiration of what can be, if you can truly find someone who loves unconditionally and whole heartedly. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, Thanks for always hanging in there through thick and thin and doing it so beautifully. I love you both!

Valentine's

Little pieces of paper with catchy phrases; these are the things that make or break our valentine's day when we are children. You have spent the week prior to valentine's day making a decorated shoe box that will hold the cherished treasures. We spend endless hours painting with red and white paint, gluing dollies, ribbons and sticking stickers and we just can't forget the all important glitter.

Then a trip to the local store for the all important valentine cards, you don't want to end up with the generic ones....We all want the barbie, spiderman or other cool animated character of the times. Then you take the class list and match each card to each person. You save those really cool ones for the cool kids...You know "Your the coolest valentine, won't you say you will be mine?" Then there are one that say at least I don't hate you; "You are neat". When I was a kid the teacher always enforced the rule that everyone on the list was to receive a valentine, even Branch Haynes, who ate paste. Oh well at least you had the opportunity to give that special guy a valentine, with the added question on the back. I like you. Do you like me? Check yes or no. Then you waited to see if you were liked back.

Things have changed somewhat in the adult years, I am somewhat out of the loop when it comes to a day of romance. I have been single since 1999 and in a serious relationship for just under a year, so this is my first Valentine's Day in a very long time....No pressure; right? What do I do now? I ask around and find out that it is now acceptable to send flowers to men. I went for the potted miniature roses...He is a accomplished gardener. However I could not pass up the valentine card. Nothing flashy, just from the heart. The best part of the day is the receiving side, The delivery of truffles and a wonderfully sweet valentine card...That has the all important phrase, "I Love You". Not to mentioned the assorted goodies, from all the children at school and my girls, gave me a boxed heart of hershey's kisses and a card. Valentine's day has been nice, I would have liked an evening of romance in front of the fire....but things can only get better next year. Happy Valentine's Day!

State of Confusion

Have you ever felt you were living in a state of confusion? It is your life, your home and although familiar...not quite as you would like it to be. That is the way of things at my home right now. On December 24th my Son and his family converged on me for the holiday. I was so happy to see them and especially my grandchildren. They had closed up their home in Fayetteville, NC and were moving duty stations to of all places...where I was born, Ft. Walton Beach, Florida. My son will be a medic attached to the ranger division stationed at Eglin AFB.

Anyway they came to spend the holiday and then move on. However, although my son has gone, my daughter in law and grandchildren are still here, in my small home and by all accounts, getting smaller by the day. We are all in tight quarters and although we have a very good relationship for inlaws; I think we are all ready to go back to separate living.